The ‘Middle Wife’ by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher…
I’ve been teaching now for about 15 years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they’re welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. ‘This is Luke, my baby brother, and I’m going to tell you about his birthday.’
‘First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom’s stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.’
She’s standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I’m trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
‘Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts going, ‘Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!’ Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. ‘She walked around the house for, like an hour, ‘Oh, oh, oh!’ (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)
‘My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn’t have a sign on the car like the Domino’s man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.’ (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)
‘And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!’ (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)
‘Then the middle wife starts saying ‘push, push,’ and ‘breathe, breathe.
They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom’s play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there.
When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there in the first place.’
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
I’m sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it’s Show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another ‘Middle Wife’ comes along.
Now you have two choices…laugh and close this page or pass this along to someone else to spread the laughs. I know what I did!!!
Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy!
“Laugh uncontrollably, it clears the mind.”
🇭 🇺 🇸 🇧 🇦 🇳 🇩 & 🇼 🇮 🇫 🇪
HUSBAND & WIFE…
🇼 🇮 🇫 🇪: Since we married, We don’t go out, we don’t eat at the restaurant. You don’t give me money for my hair,You are not romantic anymore. You don’t say I am beautiful anymore
🇭 🇺 🇸 🇧 🇦 🇳 🇩 (gives out a long laugh..): _Darling, have you ever seen a politician campaigning after winning an election???
*What’s for Dinner*
A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
Here’s what you do,” said the Doctor, “stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and s o on until you get a response.”
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.” Then in a normal tone, he asks, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?” No response.
So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Still no response.
Next, he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what’s for dinner?”
Again he gets no response so, He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Again there is no response.
So he walks right up behind her. “Honey, what’s for dinner?”
“James, for the FIFTH time I’ve said, CHICKEN!”
Moral: *The problem may not be with the other person as we always think, could be very much within us!*
*Hope you can all hear me? 🗣
A famous writer was in his study room. He picked up his pen and started writing:**Last year, I had a surgery and my gallbladder was removed. I had to stay stuck to the bed due to this surgery for a long time.
**The same year I reached the age of 60 years and had to give up my favourite job. I had spent 30 years of my life in this publishing company.
**The same year I experienced the sorrow of the death of my father.
**And in the same year my son failed in his medical exam because he had a car accident. He had to stay in bed at hospital with the cast on for several days. The destruction of car was another loss.
At the end he wrote: Alas! It was such bad year!!
When the writer’s wife entered the room, she found her husband looking sad lost in his thoughts. From behind his back she read what was written on the paper. She left the room silently and came back with another paper and placed it on the side of her husband’s writing.
When the writer saw this paper, he found this written on it:
**Last year I finally got rid of my gall bladder due to which I had spent years in pain.
**I turned 60 with sound health and got retired from my job. Now I can utilize my time to write something better with more focus and peace.
**The same year my father, at the age of 95, without depending on anyone or without any critical condition met his Creator.
**The same year, God blessed my son with a new life. My car was destroyed but my son stayed alive without getting any disability.
At the end she wrote: This year was an immense blessing of God and it passed well!!
See!! The same incidents but different viewpoints. If we ponder with this viewpoint that what could have happened more, we would truly become thankful to the Almighty.
Moral : In our daily lives we must see that it’s not happiness that makes us grateful but gratefulness that makes us happy.
There is always, always, always something to be thankful for!! Stay Blessed !!