I was chairman at a wedding reception recently. let me share part of my remarks about love at the occasion….. I have discovered that love alone doesn’t guarantee the success of a relationship. Love alone cannot help you stick to one person all year round, and on the other hand, cheating isn’t always a product of not loving your partner. In fact, loving someone doesn’t guarantee not falling in love with someone else.
Relationships work out mostly because of our head not our heart. It works out because of our emotional maturity, empathetic intelligence and self discipline because, time will come when you’ll see more beautiful, handsome, romantic, intelligent, sexy, rich, curvy and God fearing people than the one you’re in a relationship with.
In those times, love will not help you; self control will help you, emotional intelligence will come to your rescue and commitment will keep you going. With those characteristics, no matter how you feel for someone else, the person you’re committed to will rank first in your life.
You think happily married people don’t see better people than the ones they married? You think they don’t feel funny sometimes? You think they don’t catch feelings? They do!
But understanding that commitment is greater than feelings is the great arsenal that destroys that impulse.
You can fall in love with anyone, but building a relationship takes absolutely more than what attracted you to them and takes more than love.
We are too fond of loving when it’s convenient and sweet. We are too fond of loving when love is there but that can only last for just the first 3-6 months of the relationship. After then, you’ll realise that the feelings have dropped, it’s now your responsibility to make it work, not love’s responsibility.
Relationships cannot be ready made. You have to build it and it’s never always about love, it requires commitment and intelligence. On the long run in marriages, it’s not just love that keeps them together forever, it’s determination and commitment.
Everyone falls in love; it takes little or no effort to do that. But staying in love? Building a relationship? Only the strong and committed ones do that.
That’s why we must find that one person and commit to that one, discipline yourself and bridle your emotions.
Building a relationship is hard work, it’s like building a career, It’s like pursuing a dream. It’s always tough, at some point it will be so bitter but you can make it work by putting your heads together, you can scale through the trying time by being focused and committed.
The kind of love that attracts two people together is not the kind of love that will keep them together. Be emotionally strong and be self disciplined!.
Sticking to one person is not natural, you must develop yourself to do that. It works great and perfect with people of like minds, people of the same beliefs and people that share the same school of thought..
May God and wisdom guide us all on the right path… Amen…
– Col Adewunmi Adegbesan (Rtd).