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Communication basics

I am going to share what i learnt on Communication with you guys this evening.We all communicate in one way or the other everyday. This communication could be verbal or non-verbal. It’s been discovered that in meeting someone for the first time,the communication goes in this manner : words- 7%, tone- 37% and Physiology (body language)- 56%. The body language plays a big role in what you are saying. 

There are barriers to effective communication and they are: Values and Interests- Ones value system,belief and interests could be a barrier in communication.

Perception- The way you perceive someone can affect the way you talk to the person unknowingly.

Assumption- When one assumes a particular thing,it can affect the tone and way of communication to the other party.

Emotion (Anger)- When people are in the wrong mood,it can affect the way they communicate. 

Cultural Background also affects our way of communication. 

We are all guilty of the above barriers in one way or the other. This has cause serious damage to relationships. 

We need to understand that we are all different and communicate in different ways. 
I can tell Richy that ‘he is not well’ and he won’t get offended but I dare not say that to Chike but then Malu can say that to him and it won’t mean anything. The difference is the level we have attained in our relationship. 

I can use ‘you are soooo silly’ for my close friends but won’t do that for some other group of friends because it will be misunderstood. If by mistake I say that to an acquaintance or a casual friend,he or she might read meaning into it and God save you if the person is of the critical temperament. 

These are things that bring conflict in rships and when it happens,its usually necessary for one to open up and it helps people understand themselves better. 

The first time Kodyl used the word “nuts” we were like Kodyl na wa oooh. But really I don’t think she meant it in a bad way but it came like gbam!!! But right now,nobody attaches any importance to the use of the “nuts” because we use it playfully now.

Text messages and comments on social media sometimes could be perceived wrongly as a result of above barriers.

People cannot be us and can never be us. Hence the need to accomodate, make excuses when necessary,over look when need be and Sympathise with people. 
If you are misunderstood,make people understand you. Really,you don’t expect people who do not have a close rship with you to understand you easily. It is going to take time as the friendship grows. Conflict is good to an extent because it brings out the best in rships. Do not shy away from it rather think of how to resolve it. But for a trouble maker,it takes too to tango,if you are not ready for fights or trouble,i am sure the other party will have nothing to make trouble with. 

As much as possible my people. Let us try to let go for the sole purpose of Peaceful co existence. Having in mind that a lot of experiences over time has shaped our lives in different ways. Our temperaments differ and the environment we grew up differs.

None of us decided how and where we are born into. 

I read a book and the author said,Imagine if your parents were Rattlesnakes,there is every possibly that you will be a rattlesnake and the funny thing is that you don’t get to choose who gives birth to you, the environment you are born into as well as your religion. Each one of us are shaped by all of these,hence the need for us not to be judgemental or critical of one another.


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