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2 minutes for Sexy seductress! πŸ€—

MARRIAGE…….He was having his evening beverage
That’s when she joined him.
“Hi there handsome, you’re looking good. So fine I can eat you up” she said sitting down.
“I thought we agreed to keep away from each other? I am a married man” he told her.
” Come on. I won’t bite. You can’t resist me, no man can” she said.

“I am a married man” he told her.

“Fight all you want, but soon I will have you. I am way better than your wife” she told him.

“You are nothing compared to my wife” he told her off.
“Really? All this body. All these curves. All these sweetness. I bet your wife is not as good in bed as I am” she told him unbuttoning the top button of her blouse to reveal her cleavage, then lifting up her skirt, just a bit.

“If I was a lustful and unfaithful man, all that would move me. But I am too grown to be enticed by what you’re showing off. I am a grown man, you think all that consumes my mind is sex? And for your information, my wife is actually great in bed” he told her.

“How will you know unless you do me. Try me tonight. Let’s drive in your black car to a romantic hotel, I promise you a night you will never forget” she told him.

“You know what you are? You are lazy? A lazy woman” he told her, then took a sip of his beverage.
“How dare you call me lazy?! I am a high flying educated woman. Any man would give anything to have me” she said.

“Fair enough. But would you give anything to make a man?” He asked.

“What do you mean?” She questioned.

“You look at me and find me attractive. Yet you disrespect the woman behind who I am, you want me to cheat on my wife, the woman behind my attractiveness” said he.

He drank a sip and continued, “My wife is responsible for the man in me that you want today. When I had little, my wife believed in me. These suits you see me wearing, are my wife’s idea. I ask for her advice on what to wear. 

My success has come to pass because she prays for me and puts up with my demanding work hours. She corrects me and moulds me and that has moulded my character. 
The Range Rover you see me outside driving that you fancy, I bought that with my wife. She and I invested to buy our house. I look attractive and pleasant, because she treats me well and gives me peace. 

And now you want to have the man that she made out of me and dishonour her? You want to have the man that she has built for years? You are lazy?”
Silence.

“I see you turning down the single men who want you and yet you want me, a man that another woman has made? No, it doesn’t work like that. 
Find your own single man, believe in him, pray for him, support him, nurture him and mould him to be the attractive man you want him to be. 

You women have a nurturing and helping gift. Activate your gift. My wife has been busy building me and I will not leave her for a woman who has nothing to offer, but her sexiness. 
So if you may excuse me, I need to drive home and take my wife on a date. She deserves the best” he said as he stood up and drank a last sip.
He reached in his wallet and placed N2,000 on the table.

“Have yourself a drink as you think about your life and how you’ll stop being lazy and find a single man you can build. My generous wife and I have paid for the drink” he said.

He walked away as she looked on.
“I need to find my own husband” she thought to herself.
*This is recommended therapy for all married men* πŸ™ and singles too self-centered to think beyond themselves and their physical endowments.

#YOUR MARRIAGE MUST WORKπŸ’ž!!!
ADVOCATE FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE

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Newest Best-practice Tips for Parents & adult Children

To all parents and even grandparents, as well as teachers, here are some unnbelievably simple Child Psychology and Behavioral Management parenting ideas that work.πŸ‘‡ 

*1. Children need a minimum of eight touches during a day to feel connected to a parent.*

If they’re going through a particularly challenging time, it’s a minimum of 12 a day. This doesn’t have to be a big deal; it could be the straightening of a collar, a pat on the shoulder or a simple hug.
*2. Each day, children need one meaningful eye-to-eye conversation with a parent.*

It is especially important for babies to have that eye contact, but children of all ages need us to slow down and look them in the eyes.

*3. There are nine minutes during the day that have the greatest impact on a child:* the first three minutes right after they wake up, the three minutes after they come home from school and the last three minutes of the day before they go to bed. We need to make those moments special and help our children feel loved.
This is simple, right? Nothing really earth-shattering here.

Try it..

 1⃣ Whenever u feel like scolding or beating your child, take a deep breath, or count 1-10 and then act.

2⃣ Let’s ask them to study their favorite subject on their own..
3⃣ Send them to one exam without studying at all..

4⃣ Remember what our kids are learning in 5th std is taught to 7th std abroad..

5⃣ Lets keep our kids out of unwanted competition.

6⃣ 80% of what kids are learning ,won’t be useful to them in future..

7⃣ Our kids can really afford to do whatever they want to do in future.

8⃣ Higher degrees don’t guarantee success and happiness..
9⃣ Not all the highly educated people do well professionally. And not all who do well professionally are the happiest ones..

πŸ”Ÿ Kids are always in a party mood.. don’t spoil their childhood. Support and let them be what they want to be. πŸ‘πŸ˜ƒ

Pass this on to as many teachers and parents as u can.. And change the way we look at our kids and their future.
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INVESTORS IN DEATH!
Yes. That is what so many people are. Sad. But very real and very wrong. 
The other day a patient was brought to the hospital, a 59 year old, very pale with fast breathing. Urgent tests and scan showed severe anaemia and massive pleural effusion. The man needed blood ASAP with chest tube for drainage of the effusion. He was brought by his son and his brother. So when they found out that a pint of blood costs #8,000 they requested for discharge. No money to get the blood was the reason. 

Two days later he died. A month later a ”befitting” burial was conducted, hundreds of thousands of Naira spent. This scenario plays out regularly in our hospitals. Investors in death!

Your mother or brother is sick and you live in Lagos, UK or America. If you are nice you send a paltry sum. Few days later they call you he/she is more serious. You are busy. A week later they tell you it’s getting worse, you can’t get off duty. Then they call you he/she is dead and you enter the next available flight home to arrange for the burial. Investors in death! 

Your mum/dad never drove a car all their lives (despite the fact that you can afford one) and then they die and they ride in Hummer ambulance to their burial. Investors in death. 
Your aged parents live in ramshackle house with no amenities. Then they die and like a witch’s trick a grand house erupts in 3 months. Investors in death!
Note that everything you do at burial you do for yourself. 

You kill cows? the dead does not partake in it. Souvenirs? they don’t take one to judgement seat. All the dancers, asoebi and cooling vans, they don’t notice. All is for your personal glory. 

What is a befitting burial without a befitting life? 

It is better to give someone a chicken in life than to bring a cow to their burial.
I think we invest too much in death. Sometimes the living lose their source of livelihood for burials. All is vanity.
This is one thing our people need to change! 

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Think Heaven..

I took my cloth to my tailor and asked him to fix the little opening near the pocket.The man turned the cloth inside out and then began to TEAR the pocket with his hands… Hah! I was like, “I said you should sew, not tear”.
So I shouted, ‘You are tearing my cloth o’. But he replied “I KNOW”.

Those two words sank into me like a heavy stone sinks in water. I couldn’t talk again.

He’s the tailor, and I’m just a customer. Even though I couldn’t relate tearing with sewing but the Tailor says “I KNOW”.

God is saying, ‘I KNOW’.
He hears your complaints.
Father i need a job, its been long i left school…. “I KNOW”

Father, My fiancee just left me… ‘I KNOW’.

I have no money to pay for my rent… ‘I KNOW’

I have no money to cater for my needs… ‘I KNOW’

I am waiting to have children….I KNOW

I need a husband….I know

I can’t pay school fees…..I know

I just lost my job and i have a family…. “I KNOW”
So many times when the Lord is fixing us, He starts by ‘tearing’ us. Tearing our confidence in ourselves, Tearing all our philosophies, Tearing our pride and fake humility, Tearing the things we call dear and giving us the truly dear things.
The only thing necessary is wisdom. Wisdom to know when it is the Lord and when it isn’t the Lord. The devil tears to KILL, God tears to FIX. God tears the old to give you the new.

God’s tearing fire only refines His own. God’s tearing approaches only yields the peaceable fruit of Righteousness.
So in reality, God tears no man, He only makes. We call it TEARING, He calls it MAKING. We call it BREAKING, He calls it BUILDING. He knows you have need even before you ask. That’s why when we complain… He responds thus: ‘I KNOW’.
For I KNOW the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

-JEREMIAH 29:11

You will soon share your testimony as God lives………….
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Have you praised God today?

Just call these names,don’t Stop
1. Wonderful

2. Counsellor

3. Prince of Peace

4. Eternal Rock of Ages

5. King of Glory 

6. Mighty God

7. King of kings

8. Lord of lords

9. Lord of hosts

10. Lilly of the valley

11. Healer

12. Deliverer

13. Provider

14. Creator

15. Potter

16. Day Star

17. Cornerstone 

18. Prophet of prophets

19. Saviour

20. I AM THAT I AM

21. Wisdom of God

22. Head of the church

23. Governor

24. Righteous Judge

25. Protector

26. Rock of offence

27. Shield 

28. Merciful God

29. Gracious God

30. Faithful God

31. Giver

32. Victorious in Holiness

33. Consuming Fire

34. El Elyon

35. Jehovah Raphael

36. Jehovah Rohi

37. Jehovah Jireh

38. Jehovah Elgibor

39. Jehovah Sham ah

40. Jehovah Shalom

41. El Olam

42. Defender

43. Redeemer 

44. Comforter 

45. Trinity in Council

46. Instructor

47. Teacher 

48. Inspirer

49. Reminder

50. Invinsible God

51. Hope of Glory

52. Lion of Judah

53. Root of Jesse

54. Man of war

55. Lamb of God

56. Sustainer

57. Convincer

58. Light of the world

59. Restorer

60. Silencer

61. Stiller of storms

62. Proclaimer 

63. Father of the fatherless

64. Husband of the widow

65. Smith of heaven

66. The Way

67. The Truth

68. The Life 

69. Bread of life

70. Bread Winner

71. Champion of champions

72. Winner of winners

73. Composer

74. Author 

75. Finisher 

76. Glorious in Holiness 

77. Fearful in praises

78. Sleepless God

79. Ancient of days

80. Ageless God

81. Eternal God

82. Excellent God

83. Powerful God

84. Leader of leaders

85. Chief Inventor

86. Convener 

87. Compassionate God

88. Commander-in-Chief of heavenly host 

89. Worthy King

90. Overseer

91. Moulder 

92. Shaper

93. Breaker

94. Praiseworthy God

95. Helper

96. Richer than the richest

97. Older than the oldest 

98. Trustworthy God

99. Arranger

100. Master Builder

101. Master Planner

102. Master Minder

103. Arrester 

104. Relentless God

105. Voice of hope

106. Beautiful God

107. Alpha and Omega

108.Game Changer

109. Our Refuge

110. Our fortress 

111. Our Buckler

112. Our Banner

113. Strong Tower

114. Unchanging changer

115. Rose of Sharon

116. All in All

117. Pillar of our lives 

118. The First Born

119. Lamb that was slain

120. The Glory & lifter of our heads

121. The word of God

122. Our Advocate

123. Our High Priest

124. Bishop of our souls

125. High and Lofty one

126. Almighty

127. Our Best Friend

128. On time God

129 Lion of Judah

130 Omnipotent

131. Omnipresent

132 Omniscient

133. Consumming fire Adonai

134. The beginning & the end

135 Living water

136 Unquenchable fire

137. Awesome God

138 I salute your excellency Baba

139 Battle stopper

140 Unquestionable God. 

141 Jehova shikenu,

142 Mighty one in battle. 

143 Glorious in Holiness, 

144 Fearful in praises. 

145 Mighty man of valour. 

146 Miracle worker.

147 Rock of ages.

148 Merciful God

149 Advocate.

150 Always doing wonders.  

151 Amen and Hallelujah. 

152 Answer to prayers. 

153 Intercessor.

154 Interceptor. 

155 Balm of Gilead

There is no one like him. To Him Be The Glory Forever Amen

May God bless all those who will read these wonderful names of God to the end and share the blessings to others by sending to people you love and care about.

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Laughter the best Meds!

A policeman was marking the assignment of his two sons. He marked the senior child’s work and flogged him. He turned to the junior child, opened his notebook and without saying a word, walked away. The older child ask the younger one. “U wey no sabi anytin, why papa no flog u?
The younger one replied: I put N200 inside my notebook! U forget say papa na policeman 😁

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In a Nursery School Canteen…

There’s a basket of apples with a notice written over it : “Do not take more than one, God is watching”
On the other counter there’s a box of chocolates. A small child went & wrote on it, “Take as many as U want, God is busy watching the apples”…πŸ˜‚

NEVER ACT SMART WITH Today’s Generation.πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ
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KID :- Why are some of your hair white dad…? 
DAD : – Every time you make me unhappy , one of my hair turns white…
KID :- Now I understand why grandpa’s hair is all white…
Moral :- Don’t be over smart…πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ
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Child : Mummy why does Gandhi have no hair on his head…?

Mummy : Because he speaks only truth…
Child : Now I understand why ladies have long hair! 🀣
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Error in transaction!πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

My friend invited me to his church for a thanksgiving service, and I sat at the front row.
When it was time for offering, the offering basket was passed around.

Despite the Pastor’s charge for good offering, I still hurriedly and secretly pulled out my usual N20.00 from my pocket and dropped it inside the offering basket. Just then the man behind me tapped me on the shoulder and handed me 3 notes of 1000naira. 

I smiled..so generous. Then majestically, I looked around and called back the usher and put the 3k in the basket and passed it on. I turned to thank the man seriously for being so generous and he replied “Don’t mention my dear, be morecareful next time, the money fell from your pocket”. 

 Me: 😳😳😳 “Whaaaat!!!!!?? Usher please wait o, wrong transaction!!.”😱😱

Don’t laugh alone, cheer someone else up…πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ‘πŸ½

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